Utah had its party caucuses last night. I went to the Republican Party caucus for my precinct, Eagle Mountain 01. There were over twenty people there, including several people I know from church. (I think some of them might have been surprised to see me at the GOP caucus, because last Sunday in Priesthood Meeting I gave the location of the Democratic Party caucuses. The reason I did that was because an announcement was made about the party caucuses and that the Church encourages political participation, and the location of the GOP caucuses was mentioned, but nobody knew where the Democrats were meeting. I felt that some balance was needed, so I looked up the local Democratic Party website on my PDA and found the location, which I then announced to the group.)
The caucus meeting started about 15 minutes late, which is probably about par for the course.
A prayer was offered, and then someone led us in the Pledge of Allegiance. (Can they do that at Democratic caucuses without someone raising a fuss?)
Next, a donation envelope was passed around for contributions to the precinct fund.
Then someone read the Utah County Republican Party Platform. This was potentially significant, as any candidates for the precinct offices who opposed any part of the platform were required to disclose their opposition. I wasn’t running for office, but I decided I could support all of it.
Next came the elections of precinct officers. The current precinct chairman, who had been appointed to the office, was elected by acclamation. A new second-in-command (vice-chairman? deputy chairman? I can’t remember) was also elected by acclamation. By unanimous vote, the offices of secretary and treasurer were combined, and then someone was selected by acclamation.
Things were running pretty smoothly, so I thought I’d get out of the meeting quickly and not miss much of my writing group.
Then three people were nominated for only two slots as delegates to the county convention. That meant we actually had to hear them introduce themselves and talk about why they wanted to represent our precinct at the county convention, and then answer questions from the caucus members.
And what did I learn about the candidates? All of them were staunch Republicans who upheld the party platform and wanted to serve our precinct by doing the best job in representing us at the county convention.
So I voted for the guy I knew. He was one of the winners.
We finally came to the last item on the agenda: picking a delegate to the state convention. The candidate who lost in the county delegate race was nominated, and three or four more people threw their hats into the ring.
I decided my time would be better spent by going to my writing group.
So I stood up and said, "This is a farce! You’re making a mockery of the political process! I’m going to go join the Democrats!" And as everyone sat in stunned silence, I walked out of the room.
OK, I didn’t actually do that, except for the standing up and walking out parts. But it would have been pretty funny.